Sunday, November 02, 2008


Halloween in the Waikiki strip was a smash, and not just talking about just the pumpkinheads, gourded up for epic chainsaw battles between good and evildead. Literally, few guys wearing spooky, hollowed-out pumpkins on their noggins while headbanging to street musicians kicking out steel drum jams on the sandy sidewalk in the salty tropical air. It's like being pressed through a mile-and-a-half-long meatgrinder of concentrated freak, served up hot and sweaty to the million hungry eyes of cell phone cameras, eager to taste the rubbery flesh of pop cultural communion. Hellraiser to Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins to Freddie Kreuger, The Borg to Borat, all fed to the Youtube monster. Sardining through the catwalk was a real thriller, and, yes, there was at least one Michael Jackson, played by a woman, although projected genders down on that "mahu-land" side of Honolulu are as variable as the ocean breezes. In Waikiki, it's not just the masked horror-freaks, the real fright comes from the sexual-freaks, the huge gay and crossy subcultures are out in full flaming force, women strutting their disturbing amounts of "stuff". And if you're a real grindhouse scare-buff, there are always the requisite few guys in bathrobes, giant baseball bat-sized fake penises lurking beneath, mortifying the unsuspecting Japanese tourist. Then of course you've got your legions of scantily clad, fishneted witches and vampirellas, witching-hour sluts, letting out their collectively repressed inner succubi for one night only.

Best Animatronics goes to Davy "Squid Face" Jones from Pirates of the Carribean, it looked so accurate I swear he could've eaten his fish n chips with his tentacles.

Biggest Geek Out was taken hands down by the Harry Potter crew, beating out even the flaming yellow Naruto fucktards this year.

Scariest Mufugga goes to yours truly. Seriously, I was pretty much in the scariest costume, which was kinda dissapointing, next in line was probably the chainsaw massacre leatherface guy. It's symptomatic of the horror slump we're in, probably. I got tons of "oooo!! scary! mommy!!!" from kids walking around the trick or treat area with my sister and one dad had to haul his son to the other side of the street when he started crying. It was rather satisfying }>D

Cybeer-espace Eversion Award goes to The walking Youtube and "Shape" websites. Here we see the Net-Genner in her natural habitat. Evolved to survive in an environment consisting of projections of faces on flat surfaces resulting in an inability to relate to direct physical humans except through co-cognition of the media millieu, the Net-Genner adapts by projecting the screen upon her own physical appearance.

Cutest Costume is this little skunk kiddie. Kawaii neeee!!! ^.^v

Most Popular: Borat. This guy had half of Waikiki swirling around him like a hurricane of the sexy time. Probably scared the insides of some fundamentalist grandmas into ovulation.

Borat giving the Hawaiian "shaka" sign

My jail dog, Lani.

Silver man, goes into a robo pop-lock then freezes every minute or so. This guy has been street performing in front of the Hilton for at least 15 years.

Found Waldo!

Giant Caterpillar, was circling a Chinese lion dance lion at one point.

Grandpa Sam.

five obamas, one mccain. so if we're polling there, looks like mccain is the one needs to be frightened.

So again, a blast. I think observation of Halloween is as good a cultural indicator as any. If you want to know a time, examine its nightmares. Most telling was that at my sister's school, six kids dressed as terrorists weren't sent home, everyone laughed at the one Bin Laden strolling down the sidewalk, but initiating discussion of economy strikes real terror in the eyes of everyone.

I made a Nouriel Roubini costume but I figured that would have the crowds screaming for their lives.


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